35 Weeks and.. Sigh

As of Thanksgiving, I have five weeks until little miss Cassandra Anne is due. I can tell shes dropped, especially every time I get up and she pushes tight against my bladder. I'm really looking forward to seeing our beautiful little girl finally, but I'm so ready to be done with this pregnancy. I want to be able to get comfortable again, I want to get rid of these hormones, and I just want things to be good again..

My grandma died five days ago, which has been hard. But I have the love of wonderful friends and family, and a great fiance. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful, always asking me what they can do for me and everything. Its really great. I just hate that I couldn't go to her funeral. I'm to far along to travel, so I was stuck here while everyone else was in Michigan. :( To make it worse? She told my dad that out of all the grandkids, she felt closest to me. At least I had a last phone call though I guess.. She told me that Cassie was going to make everything better. To make sure to take care of her.. To take her out into the world.. This beautiful little girl already has a lot to live up to if her great grandma says shes going to make everything better.

Its been about seven months now since I've seen Graham, and its killing me. I hate this with every fiber of my being. When we first got back to our separate states, things were.. hard. But we talked on the phone, we were still all lovey dovey, we talked about things.. And now.. now I feel almost like I'm some parasite that he just can't get rid of. Like he doesn't want me, he just puts up with me because we're engaged and I'm carrying his daughter.. I just want my fiance back. :( I want him here, and I want things to be better again. I want him to tell me he loves me for no reason, and I want to feel like I'm wanted. v.v Right now I feel like I'm lucky if I get a text back. I hate this. I hate distance, and I hate being so freaking hormonal right now.

Anyone got a fast forward button?

Lots of Love,
Laura